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Sunday, 31 July 2011

Oh dear

I've been a baaaad, bad blogger. See that road to hell in front of me? It's paved with all my shiny good intentions.

Before I went to mum's I made a big song and dance about how I was going to try really hard and update frequently and could use some extra support. Then I disappeared. That should tell you how well this week did not go for me. I suppose it could have been worse, when I arrived mum had plans to make both a big batch of carrot cake cupcakes with her magical cream cheese icing, AND a lemon cake with a lemon version of that same icing, all because she knows I love them. I managed to convince her not to, but was less forceful when we she we decided to make this a.maz.ing ginger and lime cheesecake. That wasn't all I ate this past week either, I think I'll just have to accept that mum's house is always going to be somewhere I struggle with. She can have lots of goodies in the house because she doesn't care either way for sweet things, but I simply can't deal with having stuff there and not eating it, better to just not put myself in that position and keep all the food.

So, I saw the number on my scale this morning, and with official weigh-in being in about 12 hours I've very much considering redeeming this, and just not posting the number...


It's not completely bad news though. I did get back to things today, and ended the day in my calorie range. I needed to get a birthday present for my aunt so I walked to over 3 mile round trip to and from the shop. Later on I also managed to drag myself on treadmill (for the first time in a very long time, even though I didn't feel like it) to do another 3 miles, so I got all my exercise in. I've tried to drink quite a bit of water today so all in all I'm hoping with a better night's sleep I'll be able to make a dent in the gain.

Aims for the next week (beyond the usual 'eat within calories') focus solely around exercise, and getting it on some kind of regular basis. I don't have a set number of times per week planned at the moment, we'll have to see how much I can stand.

Monday, 25 July 2011

STSC Results - Week 7

Weight lost this week: -0.5kg (1.1#)
Total Challenge weight loss: 8.5kg (18.7#)

I'm a little disappointed by my numbers to be told. My week was fine, but the scale stayed stuck around the same weight for a long time, yo-yo-ing up and down by a point here and there. Looking back at my weigh-ins though, I seem to have one big week, one little week, so hopefully I'll see better results next time. It's still a loss for now.

I'm going to my mum's today and staying until Saturday! I'm taking my laptop with me because I'm definitely going to need to check in a lot, I find it so hard eating within calories while I'm there, I'm really going to make the effort this time though, I've been doing well enough that I don't want to wreck my progress now.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

NSV

Things are still quiet on the blogging front, I hope that's because people are busy and not because they're struggling. Either way, please update everyone!

I've been on plan this week so things are fine there, but I was struggling a lot with the scale and its lack of movement. It see-sawed in tiny increments, but ultimately stayed level almost all of this week. That would be super-frustrating right now if I hadn't said 'almost' because I weighed myself about 10 minutes ago and saw a little swoosh. Not massive numbers, but enough that it makes the effort feel worth it. I took a walk yesterday (round trip to the supermarket, just over 3 miles) and worked a bit harder on my water intake (which admittedly has been a bit dodgy the last couple of weeks), which I think helped me. The official WI isn't until tomorrow, so hopefully I can maintain it, or maybe even shave a little bit more off so that I can see a new kilo? I'm getting closer to a big mental/physical milestone for me too, so hopefully that will keep me motivated the next couple of weeks while I try for it.

I have a bit of a NSV to report. I went to the supermarket yesterday to get a new coat, my trench has been getting looser and looking a bit tired, so when one of the buttons popped off yesterday and the rest were getting loose, I thought I'd treat myself. When I started this challenge I was a tight UK size 22, in the in-between stage of moving up to a 24 (so, US 20-22). My new coat? Size 18 (US 16) bitches! It was a supermarket 18, not a plus size store 18, and I was wearing a size 18 top from a department store, so they were 'real' sizes. I think my bottom half is still a size bigger (I'm pear shaped), so my trouser/skirt size will be a 20 still I think (I haven't bought/tried any on in a smaller size recently so I can't say for sure) but my overall size has definitely gone down!

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Hello?

Where has everyone been this week? Posting seems to be really slow. Is there something going on in America that I should know about?

My weight has been pretty even all week, I'm not sure why as things have been on track, all I can say is that's the way weight loss rolls sometimes. My step-mum and step-sister are going back to Ukraine to visit family on Friday, so we're going out to dinner tonight. I'm going to be eating very lightly beforehand to help counteract any problems this may cause. I finish my job on Friday and then am going to visit my mum for a week on Monday. Traditional mum's house is a signal to eat all the things, something I tend to embrace wholeheartedly, but this time I really want to try and stay on track while I'm there. I won't have a scale (I don't like weighing in on other scales, they're never the same) so if I'm successful or not will be a surprise for when I get home Saturday. I'm taking my laptop though, so I'll try and keep checking in to keep focused. I may need a bit of extra support to keep at it when I go!

Monday, 18 July 2011

STSC Results - Week 6

Weight lost this week: -1.9kg (4.1#)
Total Challenge weight loss: 8kg (17.6#)

It's another quick update because (you guessed it) I have work. I did quite well this week with the numbers, which was a relief after last week. From next week I'm going to have to figure out an exercise routine, as my new job is a sitting one, and just behind my house so I don't have to walk there. I'm a little worried that I'll have to actually make the decision to work out, rather than have it built in to my day. It gives me the opportunity to miss it. I may drop my calories back to 1200 if I find the scale sticking again, either way I will probably see a slowing down of the kind of numbers I've been losing once my current job finishes.

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Sigh

I've been putting off blogging for the last few days, and now it feels hard to start again. Fortunately the reason wasn't my eating.

I've had a bit of upheaval this week. I didn't end up getting the job I was going for, which still makes me tear up a bit when I think about it too hard. I really put everything into it, and now that I know I won't be working there, it's left me feeling really deflated. The news didn't send me into a food tailspin, but less eating has meant more crying, and I'm still at a loss to decide if I prefer the trade. Things are still a little fresh though, the sting will fade with time.

Dad has been looking for a part-time admin assistant for his office, and today he offered me the job. He had something like 200 applicants, but a lot of them seem kind of moronic, the general impression seems to be 'well, I can't do anything else so I thought I'll do admin'. If he's going to have to train somebody, at least he knows what he's getting with me. It's the same 20hrs a week that I do now, but the pay is slightly more p/hr, and the hours would be regular (13-17, mon-fri), instead of the ever-changing shift work/evenings/weekends that get thrown into my schedule now. The office is the converted stable on our property, so in addition to extra 100 I'd be making a month, I wouldn't have to put the time and money into transport either.

I have a few concerns, but the major one is the personal/professional divide (or rather: lack of same). If I do something wrong I want to be spoken to like an employee, not shouted at like a daughter. Dad and I don't/haven't always have/had the easiest personal relationship, so that's the biggie. I also don't like the idea of being financially dependent on him in terms of my wages, but it is money I'm earning rather than something he's giving me, so I can live with that.

Given all the advantages I think it would be stupid to turn down, so I've said yes (I'm handing in my notice at work tomorrow). That niggling doubt is still with me though, I'll have to see how it goes.

Monday, 11 July 2011

STSC Results - Week 5

Weight lost this week: +0.4kg (0.9#)
Total Challenge weight loss: 6.1kg (13.4#)

So, unfortunately it's a gain this week, but I'm feeling surprisingly good about it. As I mentioned in my last post, at one point I was up a crazy 7lbs because of post-binge imminent-TOM weight. I think if it hadn't been my special time of month right now I may even have managed to maintain, so I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be. I got back into the same kilo I was in last Monday, and that's helped a lot. I can see it as a blip, rather than freaking out, because it feels quite close.

I'm also quite proud of myself that I was able to get home and get back on track. Yes, I had three bad days, but I had my reasons and now they're over. I was going to say 'hopefully next week I'll be back in business;, but I think I already am, so I'll settle for 'hopefully next week I'll see some new territory'.

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Say hello to my little friend

TOMs back in town (What? Didn't he just finish a visit like3 weeks ago? WHY YES, YES HE DID, welcome to the joy of my body). There is a silver lining to this though, because I stupidly stepped on the scale last night to see what damage my interview freak-out had wrought, and nearly had a heart attack at the number. I don't care what I ate for those two days, it wasn't enough to gain 3.4kg (7lbs-ish!) from my last weigh in.

Nu-uh, no.

Admittedly, stepping on the scale in the evening was stupid anyway, because I always get heavier during the day and it's no big deal, so adding that padding to the already unfortunate figure didn't do me any favours. Now that TOM has made his presence known, the number has gone down some, but I'm still heavier than I was. It's a bit much to hope for, but I'm hoping he'll have left by the time Monday weigh-in rolls around. If he does and I'm careful, maybe I could break even on this week? I have been careful since I got back, two days eating clean and within calories. I'd still be looking at a big-ish loss to maintain, but hopefully I can make it. I dont want to see any 'official' gains during this challenge.

Friday, 8 July 2011

Back

I'm back from my interview, and now we wait. Luckily, they're not the kind of company that you have to wait weeks or months for an answer (aka EVERY OTHER JOB I'VE EVER APPLIED FOR), so I should know how it went in 3 working days. Everyone keep your fingers crossed, I really want to change my current job.

Today it's getting back to eating healthily. I'm writing it down here specifically to avoid the trap of giving in to temptation and deciding 'well, one more day won't matter' that's so easy to do when you've been off plan. I don't want the one bad day, one truly appalling day (I had a full out binge the night before the assessment), and one so-so-ish day, to turn into a week, or a complete plan destroyer.

Monday, 4 July 2011

STSC Results - Week 4

Weight lost this week: 2kg (4.4#)
Total Challenge weight loss: 6.5kg (14.3#)

Aaaaand that's a full stone gone, a good amount for the first month of the challenge. I was really pleased that I managed to get back to a full 2kg down, it was my low point of the week (before the little spike I was moaning about yesterday) so I wanted to be back at it at least by the time official weigh day came.

My interview is getting closer, arrrgh! I've managed to get the basics of my presentation down, so after work tonight it will be a case of making the handout, tweaking my main points, and laying out the script into bullet point reminders so I can check them easily as I'm talking for reminders if I need them. I wouldn't say I've handled the stress well (seeing how I've managed to pull half my hair out) but I've managed not to binge during it, so you take little victories where you can get them.

And once again I've got to go because blogging is making me late for work, you'd think I'd learn!

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Heavy meals make heavy girls

The scale went up a little both today and yesterday, which is annoying as weigh in is tomorrow. I went slightly over calories a couple of days ago, but nothing that should have caused this. I think mostly it's the fact that the way I've been eating has been different for those two days.

Mostly, I've been focusing on lower calories meals, which means I have about four a day. I always swore I'd never be able to do that because it makes me feel like I'm grazing all day instead of like I've eaten something, but that's the natural pattern I fell in to. For the last two days I've had a low calorie meal for brunch, and then a high calorie one for dinner, which has left me with no calories for snacking after. Now, I haven't snuck in any snacks so it's not that I'm cheating, and it's not like those meals have been deep fried or anything, but one was a large roast dinner and the other was barbeque meats (chicken and sausages) that my dad saved for me because I was getting back from work late. Basically, it's heavier, and more meat, than I've been eating. I'm assuming its led to some bloating and that's what's going on here. I wonder if I drink a lot of water today and lay off the meat I can bring the number down again for tomorrow?

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Just Dance


Debbi posted about the Just Dance 2 game for the Wii a few days ago, and it prompted me to go downstairs and see what games my stepsister has for her machine. Lo and behold, at the bottom of the pile sat 'Just Dance', the first version of the game Debbi reviewed.

I played it yesterday and today, it has songs I can enjoy (Katy Perry's Hot n Cold, A Little Less Conversation, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun) and if you do a couple of full version of the songs properly you'll find yourself working up a sweat. I only did about 20 minutes a time, but it was fun and I'd do it again. With the walking I do it's a good addition to my week.

In other news, my presentation is still killing me and I'm not even started with preparing for the other bits of the day. Why am I finding this so hard? It's only a 5 minute presentation after all.

Friday, 1 July 2011

Stress on the horizon

Today and Sunday are my days off, so the plan at the moment is to work on making my presentation for my interview next week. So far I'm having a bit of trouble with it, but I'll have to buckle down and figure it out. I feel like I'm in university again and putting off writing a paper.

I'm happy to say the scale is still responding well to the slight upping of calories, so assuming I don't let the stress get to me over the weekend I should have a good number to report on Monday. I'll be staying overnight for the interview and have decided not to sweat it about what kind of food I eat while I'm gone. Things will be stressful enough without trying to tally up calories. Although it will do a little damage, it's only two days.

(side-note: oh god the hotels were so expensive! Which is odd as the area I want to go to isn't exactly a tourist attraction. There was a place that was a bit cheaper but it was in an ass-inconvenient area so I sucked it up and paid more for location. But seriously, my poor bank account! I was hoping I could find a cheaper deal on laterooms or something closer to the time, and then make the new booking and cancel my old one, but it doesn't loo like it's going to work out. It was a slender hope anyway)