Saturday, 16 July 2011


I've been putting off blogging for the last few days, and now it feels hard to start again. Fortunately the reason wasn't my eating.

I've had a bit of upheaval this week. I didn't end up getting the job I was going for, which still makes me tear up a bit when I think about it too hard. I really put everything into it, and now that I know I won't be working there, it's left me feeling really deflated. The news didn't send me into a food tailspin, but less eating has meant more crying, and I'm still at a loss to decide if I prefer the trade. Things are still a little fresh though, the sting will fade with time.

Dad has been looking for a part-time admin assistant for his office, and today he offered me the job. He had something like 200 applicants, but a lot of them seem kind of moronic, the general impression seems to be 'well, I can't do anything else so I thought I'll do admin'. If he's going to have to train somebody, at least he knows what he's getting with me. It's the same 20hrs a week that I do now, but the pay is slightly more p/hr, and the hours would be regular (13-17, mon-fri), instead of the ever-changing shift work/evenings/weekends that get thrown into my schedule now. The office is the converted stable on our property, so in addition to extra 100 I'd be making a month, I wouldn't have to put the time and money into transport either.

I have a few concerns, but the major one is the personal/professional divide (or rather: lack of same). If I do something wrong I want to be spoken to like an employee, not shouted at like a daughter. Dad and I don't/haven't always have/had the easiest personal relationship, so that's the biggie. I also don't like the idea of being financially dependent on him in terms of my wages, but it is money I'm earning rather than something he's giving me, so I can live with that.

Given all the advantages I think it would be stupid to turn down, so I've said yes (I'm handing in my notice at work tomorrow). That niggling doubt is still with me though, I'll have to see how it goes.

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